This weekend I hit a number of establishments in Portland, Maine. It started at Bull Finney’s, where I consumed a ravishing lamb burger and two Guinnesses. Music was good. I bumped into a gorgeous woman who I had spotted from afar. She appeared to be overdressed (something I adore). I would see her later.

Had a few conversations. Gave my number to someone who hasn’t used it yet (A charming lady who moved from Portland, OR to Portland, ME). Gave up moved on.

Later at Oasis I saw the overdressed girl. Wow. I had thought she was beautiful but it was much more. We chatted bit, in English and French. When I tried to dance with her she told me about her boyfriend. “Damn,” I exclaimed. I asked her if it was exclusive and she gave me a quizzical look. Most people don’t seem to even consider open relationships.

Decided to finish out the night at Pearl. In line I started chatting with two beautiful women who, like me, don’t live in Portland. I liked both of them. I bought a round of drinks and soon found out that they both had boyfriends. Next, the (second) most wonderful thing happened. They started acting like wingwomen for me. It was amazing. They said the best way was to dance with me. I quickly found myself in a love sandwich. The tall blond stroked my head as all three of us got down with a little bit of grinding. For the next half hour they danced with me and scoped out the other women at the place. They gave me some advice, “Avoid the pouty-faced ones. Look for someone who’s fun.”

I tried dancing with a few people, but nothing seemed to work out. Near the end of the night one my wingwomen asked for some personal information so she could “promote the hell out of me”. They said I was hot and that I should definitely have someone. I knew what that meant. She was going to do me a real kindness, but I couldn’t let her go to her friends, putting her reputation on the line, thinking that I was unattached. I immediately told her that I was in an open relationship. She immediately gave me a look of disapproval and a thumbs down.

I suspect they disagree with my lifestyle. I fear that I will never hear from them. I’m sad that people feel this way. We humans are made to connect with each other. Our self-imposed barriers are born from millenia of jealous spouses and the imaginations of religious leaders. We the people of the world should give ourselves freely to each other. We were made to connect.

I learned, this weekend, that wingwomen are WAY better than wingmen. I do hope they call me.